It is Monday. That means that Mike and Dot Green are caring for their granddaughters Calliope and Thalia Willis in their home on N. 31st Street in Arlington. Dot Green says that Calliope at 3 is very funny and active. She has lots of facial expressions and loves to run … "has to run," Mike Green interjects.
Her sister Thalia at 9-months-old enjoys putting things in her mouth to see what they are. "She is just plain relaxed," Dot Green says, "rarely cries." Part of the mix is the five-year-old black Labrador retriever, Shadow, who allows both girls to climb all over her and pull her ears. Dot Green says during the last week when the grandchildren were home due to the storm, "The dog was beside herself."
On Wednesday and Thursday Mike and Dot Green alternate driving to Baltimore to care for their other two grandchildren. Catherine is six and in first grade, more intense. "She has always been that way," Mike Green says. Also she is very musical and really enjoys activities and crafts.
David is 2-years-old, also very funny. "He absorbs things and then makes statements. The way he says things is practical, down to earth and it just comes out funny." The person with that week's Baltimore schedule spends Wednesday night in Baltimore and the person babysitting at home is invited to the Arlington daughter's home for dinner. "That's our pay," Mike Green says.
The Greens started caring for their grandchildren almost 6 years ago when Catherine was 6 weeks old and their daughter-in-law Liz went back to work full-time as a geologist for the Maryland Department of Environment. It was an hour and five minutes to get to their house in Baltimore and Mike or Dot Green had to be there at 7:30 a.m. Through subsequent years schedules evolved into a changing jigsaw puzzle as Dot Green went to Baltimore Tuesday and Wednesday and Mike Green came on Thursday while Liz worked four 10-hour days and their son did four days plus Saturday. Dot Green worked part time at Yorktown until December. She and her husband did lots of juggling. Now it is easier since Catherine is in first grade and David is in preschool so they don't need to pick him up in Baltimore until noon.
Dot Green says she and her husband cover for each other when there are other activities. "I go knitting on Thursday afternoons," and Mike Green adds that he goes to the gym and serves as vice president of their civic association.
Calliope picks up a purple Magna-Tile and adds a red one to build a square. When it falls apart Dot Green says, "What do we do?" Calliope answers, "We put it back together."
Calliope has just returned from her 1.5 hour preschool Chinese language class. Dot Green explains that Calliope's mother and father had met when they were teaching in China so their daughter feels it is important for Calliope to learn the language. After the class Dot Green and Calliope go to the library to check out 10 books. "We always get 10," Dot Green says, "so we can remember how many we have to return.” Then in the afternoon Calliope is allowed 1-1/4 hours of TV experiences with a Chinese DVD or YouTube if she wants. "I do," Calliope pipes up. Thalia will begin Chinese when she is older. "They will talk to each other in Chinese and we will be in real trouble," Dot Green says.
"The key to this working for all of us is to have a working communication. We have similar child-raising styles as our kids and we also talk about things. In their house in Baltimore if we have a question we ask our grandkids what would mom and dad do? And the grandkids are honest," she says. "Part of the reason our kids are so receptive to their kids spending time with us is that they saw the benefit of the time they spent with their own grandparents and they wanted the same thing for their kids."
A stuffed panda, zebra, fox and dog sit side by side on the couch. The stuffed penguin has a privileged place in the stroller. "I don't know why," Dot Green says. After breakfast of toast or dried cereal and fruit, "We play," Mike Green says. And after lunch, "we play some more." Sometimes they go to the park. "Arlington has great parks," Dot Green says, "And sometimes we go to the zoo."
Calliope sits on the floor thumbing through books. Calliope looks frustrated as she points to a picture in her book and repeats a phrase to a puzzled audience. "That's the Chinese word for chicken," she pronounces. Meanwhile Thalia has pulled herself up and is bouncing up and down and inching along. "If she walks you'll see her first step. She is ready. We're in for it."
Why do they do this? "There's no better way to get to know your grandchildren. And we're lucky with our grandchildren,” Dot Green says. "Our kids in Baltimore and South Arlington are an hour and a half away but at Christmas everyone was here for four days together with the grandkids camped out on futons," Mike Green says. Even though Thalia seldom takes naps anymore, the hand-made wooden cradle in the living room seems a symbol of the continuity of the generations. It dates back to the great grandparents in the late 1800s with each generation sleeping in the same spot.